Tomorrow morning is Teagan's trial run at daycare. I am starting to get worried and stressed. OK, I guess the stress and worry have been there a while, they are just getting a lot worse. To make things more difficult, I accidentally scheduled a doctors appointment (not at my local office of course, the one that's 30 min away) for the same morning. So now Matt has to watch her then do drop off if I don't make it back across town in time. It adds so many complications, like the fact that he will have to give her a bottle before he takes her. So I have been typing up instructions for both him and the daycare, getting her bag packed, and getting myself all worried and stressed out with "worst case scenarios" all week. I guess part of my problem is that this trial makes me going back to work all seem real. I tear up just sitting here thinking of leaving Little T 5 days a week, and being away from her for so long. It's going to Suck with a capital S. Rather, it will SUCK with capitals S, U, C, and K! I know it will get better and we will get into a routine where it becomes our norm, but it's still hard. I know I have to be strong and that by going back to work I am helping to give Teagan a really good life - a roof over her head, food on the table, and an education. And she in turn will be well-balanced, socialized, and yet still have all the love and affection in the world from two parents who love her very much. It's still just very hard as a parent, especially as a mother, who has nursed her, rocked her, and pretty much been there with her every waking moment (and with a bad sleeper like T there have been plenty of waking moments). I am sure you all stopped reading long ago as I droned on and on and on. And my (left) hand is tired as I typed this entire post with my non-dominant hand while Teagan was eating, so I will end this novel. Here's hoping tomorrow goes smoothly.
And for those following the sleep challenges, T took a 2.5 hr nap this afternoon!!! :-)
I know somewhat what you're feeling, I worked 4 days a week when Steven was born and had to go back when he was 8 weeks old. Like you, I was nursing and had to start pumping bottles of milk on my lunch hour. It was very hard to go back. The only thing that made it a little easier for me was having our moms as the babysitters on alternating days. It's tough, but it gets easier. Michael was 6 weeks old when I had to go back. What a great thing that you got to enjoy just being a mommy for 3 whole months! It's so nice that your job allowed you to take so much time. She'll be just fine, don't you worry!
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